Thursday, October 20, 2011

A Night at the Theatre

Well, this blog was bound to get hacked at some point.

To whoever the culprit may be, first and foremost, fuck you. Second, red italicized text and alternating colors? Jesus Christ man couldn't you at least be a little original. Well you centered it you so I guess that's a little different. And third, given the traces of blood, it seems you met with one of my traps. Hope you enjoyed it.

As to why I left my laptop alone, that is because I was attending a show last night. I do not like to miss out on watching my peers perform. Needless to say, I can't bring my laptop with me because will, it kinda' makes me feel like a dick.

The performances itself was great. I always loved "Fuddy Meers". But last night, something stood out. Please bear with me with this, I am utterly exhausted so I may seem a bit incoherent.

The theatre the performance is in is quite small so I always make sure to show up as early as I can. There is one seat that I am especially fond of. However tonight, someone had beaten me there. Trying assert some of my territorial dominance I sat to him. This guy was clad in a suit, needless to say, I breathed a sigh of relief when saw he had a face. But really, a suit to a comedy? He looked to be in maybe his late 60s. I don't know it's really hard to identify age these day. He had bowler resting in his lap and small pair of glasses resting on his nose. What really caught my eye was the gray bushy moustache he had. He looked like what I envision my grandfather would look like. I noticed the cane hooked on the side of the aisle seat so I was little more forgiving, but I was still think "You bastard! You took my fucking spot!"

I flipped through the program for a bit when I heard him speak up.

"I always enjoy these kind of plays." he said. He spoke in one of those classy Southern accents. Y'know like from a tycoon who owns a mansion and his Southern Belle wife asks if you'd like to come on up to the veranda and set a spell.

"You mean comedies?" I asked. I wasn't expecting him to have anything interesting to say but I figured I'd go along.

"Well yes. But I enjoy the deeper...what the word? Theme? Setting behind it. When character's hold some sort of life-changing secret. It's always interesting to see how they act when they think it's going to be unveiled. The chaos that comes from it is...entertaining." I simply nodded, going along with him. He pointed out to the actress who preset on the stage, 'sleeping' in the bed. "And our dear girl Claire is a most interesting person to experience this. You can just cause all chaos, throw all these 'truths' at her, and she just forgets it the next day."

Now, I've read the script before so I knew what to expect, but seriously what a jackass for spoiling bits of the play.

"Yeah I suppose so." I said, I really didn't like holding conversations with strangers.

"But what I enjoy most is watching when people keep those secrets so bottled up that it just eats away it them." he chuckled to himself "That's just me."

I was taken aback, it was something that you don't expect to hear from some stranger, especially a kindly looking old man.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just rambling old man, sorry to waste your time." He stood up and put his bowler on, taking his cane with him. Why on earth would he be leaving before the show began?

After he went up the first step he turned around, his gaze was now very cold. "By the way. I'd suggest you watch how you wave to people." His voice at a threatening tone to it "Some folks don't take to kindly to smartasses."

I froze. How the fuck could he now about that?

I tried to watch and enjoy the show but really how could I after that.

My spot was available, but for some reason the thought of sitting there after he did made me sick to my stomach.


  1. People say things like that, how they love watching chaos spring from poorly kept secrets, but only when they think their's are secure. I don't know why, but I dislike this man, his style is enough that I should like him, but... meh, it's not my place to pass judgment on such things. On another note, now that you're back, I would like to point out that the main reason you were hesitant about starting a blog was because you thought it was going to get hacked. What do you know, physcic tendencies, what fun.

    See you around

  2. I wouldn't say it's pyschic. It just seemed inevitable since it seems have happened to everyone else in one way of another.

  3. Wait, he put his bowler hat on WHILE STILL INSIDE THE THEATER?

    This man is no gentleman.

  4. The near threat didn't hint at that Omega?
    Granted he was leaving and the show hadn't even started so I'm willing to cut him some slack.
    I'm keep an eye out for him at some of the next production we put up. I have feeling some interesting conversations. Also despite that my gut feeling is telling me this guy is a legitimate threat, his mustache was epic.

  5. You have to watch out for the ones that have epic mustaches, I am sadly inadaquate with my facial hair, and it is the main reason I refuse to join up with the Skinny one outright.

    See you around