Sunday, October 2, 2011

Findings Thus Far

Here's what I've learned thus far in my fight.

As evil and malicious as He is, He is quite courteous. So if you are taking a shower, using the bathroom, or tending to more *ahem* personal matters, worry not because Slender Man will not attack you. Afterwards however is a completely different story.

The most interesting thing. I think I managed to hurt him. I'm not sure what the hell happened.
It was about 6 months ago, I was stepping out of car at the parking lot to my apartment at night donned a headband with the Operator's Mark on it. Before I even closed the door and damned proxy jumped me. This was before in instigated my policy of keeping my MP3 player around at I fell back into my car as it pounced on me and began pummeling the shit out of me. I managed to reach up and grabbed his head, slamming it into the dashboard. I shoved him out and fumbled around the back seat to grab my bat. I slid out and clubbed the poor fucker until he was a pulp, before I can lay a killing blow I felt all the wind knocked out of me.

The next thing I knew I was slammed against the fence. I peeked up and managed to get enough of a glimpse to see who else but Slender Man Himself before I broke down into a debilitating coughing fit. I couldn't tell you if He was walking towards me or if I was being pulled to Him. All I could think was

"Shitshitshitshitshit this is it, it's over."

Then something came over me, it'd like to think I was just being stubborn. I rememberd the bat which my left hand held in a death grip. For a moment, I got over the Slendersickness long enough to swing it at His right knee.

I shakily stood as I watched Him buckle to His knees. It looked up. I'd like to say it was at me but the guy doesn't have a face so for all I know He could've been looking at the sky. He just seemed stunned. I didn't stay to see how long it would last. I hauled ass to my room and spent the rest of the night sobbing.


The second time was much quicker and happened a month later. I was leaving my place for the summer so I was packing up and putting it into my car. I had my headband on and MP3 in when I heard that crazy interference. And there He was. Slendy. I wasn't going to be caught off guard and fired off my taser into Him. The shock stunned Him enough for me to get out there. Unfortunatly that was the loss of my first taser since I didn't take the time to pull those electro-thingies out.

So in conclusion, He isn't invincible.

But why was he stunned?

I think perhaps it might have been based around M's theory of him not comprehending a human towering above Him. I also think He might be weak in the legs. I mean, those skinny legs are holding up so much it would be like pushing down an upside-down pyramid.

We could also just charm my ego and consider that maybe I'm just that awesome.

But the question that has boggled me, why didn't he Slenderwalk? Especially I got him with the bat. I don't recall the band looking at him.


  1. Maybe he's toying with you?

    Regardless, I think it's awesome that you may have managed to damage him, not once, but twice! Kudos!

  2. You hurt Him?! Awesome. Why were you sobbing.

    1. Because I thought I was so close to thinking I was on death's doorway. It scared the shit out of me.

    2. I didn't know people sob when scared like that. Hmm. Noted.