Just... god dammit.

Rambling, Manifestos, Something.

To the Proxy who had the balls to show up at my new testing site for Slendersludge weaponry to take advantage of my hospitallity:

I would offer you your arm back but...well, it's kinda' all over the place.


Yeah when I said I was gonna' make you go boom I was not just talking.

Yeah, I've just been in an utterly terrible mood as of late. When I'm this mood, any abillity to recognize what is socially acceptable just shuts down and it normally results in me being weepy, volitile, or having some fucked up sense of humor (Again Lis and Tia, so sorry for the one remark).

With the fall of Hope, Konaa MIA/KIA, and Blake getting snatched up, it's just...stressful

The killer is that I don't know any of these people personally, I mean I've talked to Elaine via e-mail and Lis once, but I've never met face-to-face with anyone.

And yet I find myself so emotionally invested.

And I don't care for that.

I've always been someone numb when comes to emotions and reading the emotions of others. An Asperger's thing I suppose. I mean hell, when I feel intense emotions they've physically harmed me on occasion. Sure I can act like I'm experiencing them, I'm a theatre major after all, but inside they are always at the bare minimum. But the last two and a half years, those intense ones just keep coming up.

But I just rambling off stuff now.

On to why there is a Proxy with a missing arm.

Over the last couple weeks I had resumed Slendersludge research (which I will probably post later), needless to say, I lied about it being on hiatus. Oldest trick in the book I know but I felt safer if certain enemies thought I had given up. I also moved my research to an abandonned building. I need some place bigger. I had spent most of my thanksgiving break holed up in there. All of the shit that went down was just too much for me. I needed to vent. So I went about trying to create some new shit to use. Last night, someone showed up saying they read my post and wanted shelter. Now given that I had not given this location up to anyone, this dumbass was trying to play me for a fool. I let him in anyway as soon as I closed the door he went at me with a knife. It was a little dark so I had trouble dodging and got a few slashes in the process. After knocking him back I went to the work table, flicked on the light and grabbed a crossbow I had bought recently.

It's funny, I can hold a crossbow steady but not a gun. Go figure.

And now I present to you my new weapon:

Slendersludge has the explosive power of a firecracker. Especially on impact. So I got the idea coating arrows with this stuff.

I fired the arrow off, as he charged towards me Since it was still dark, my aim was off so I think I got him in that fleshy inside of his left elbow. BOOM! His arm just ripped apart. The Proxy let out a shrill howl of pain and quickly passed out.

Unfortunatly for me I'm too much of a nice guy, and it was going to be a bitch to clean up, so I wrapped the wound up pretty tight and dumped the poor schmuck near a hospital. I saw a couple of guys who I assumed for his commrades pick him up as I drove away, so I'm assuming he is okay. Right?

I know it was probably a tad cruel but damn it I was just not in the mood to be fucked.

But to everyone who is suffering from the events of the last week, I wish there was something I could say but words just fail me.

Scratch that.

I'm going to try and word this the best that I can. So many of you have trying to make some sort of difference. Whether it's saving civilians from getting involved in this mess, trying to find answers, trying to make a refuge even if that means taking a risk and making a deal with devil, or even just surviving be it alone or in a group. Sure there have been sucesses and failures. Some of you have lost your sanity. For some, your freedom.

You've lost friends, family, the ones you love.

Some of you have even lost your lives in the process.

But dammit, you guys have done SOMETHING. You went out of there and decided at some point that you weren't just going to let him get. Even by running you were fighting him. Even when things seemed fruitless. There was just some hope that maybe someone could use your experiences and find some way to end this. At least that's what most of you do for me.

You give hope.

You give courage.

You give light.

Refuge

So Hope was attacked, and I couldn't do a damn thing.

Geez, I feel useless. I mean, I'm only 3 hours away and even though I'm wounded and sick, I'm still capable of kicking ass.

Look to refugees of Hope. I'm opening up my place and my testing sites as a temporary refuge. Just hollar if you need it. And to any proxies who have the balls to take advantage of this offer to get to me or anyone else.

Bring it on bitches . I'll make ya' go boom.

Soooooo sick.

As if healing from my wounds wasn't a pain in the arse, I'm also quite sick. We're talking bedridden sick here...again.

I think this stress is getting to me.

Worrying for my friends and family.

Defending myself against Slendy.

Devoting so much time to figuring how the counter Andras.

Let stop there for a second. I meant to bring this up a while back. To sum up my fight, I took something The Grigori said to heart and it worked. From what I can gather Andras is one of the newer Hunters (I'm sure there's an actual term but I'm too tired to look it up). Sure he is very skilled at what he does but lacks the...discipline I guess you could say. We both got out of the fight with quite a few wounds, various slashes for the both of us (more on my than him), a cracked rib or two on my part. I clonking his head hard on a brick wall a couple times (a tad brutish by my standards) so that probably did something. I wish he would've made it easier to tell if I hurt him. An "Ouch", a "shit", an "owie", anything. Instead, it's a grunt. Eventually we both had a clear opening (for me it was one of those moments where I was like "I'm taking you dow-oh shit you are too.") when a pole of some sort quickly came in between us. It was The Grigori's cane. He smiled and said "Sorry but we can't lose either of you yet." and I saw his cane swinging at my face. I have no idea what that thing is made of but the next thing I knew was in the hospital. The nurse said someone found me on campus. And ta-da we're back to where I'm at today.

So yeah at that things are going, I'm doubting that I'll be able to pop by Hope for Thanksgiving. Sorry Elaine :(

I'm an idiot

The title says it. I'm an idiot. And I have been in so much pain for the last couple of days. The only thing I've been able to do his comment on people's blogs and piss off Nightscream.

As I said eariler I was bent on finding a weakness to Andras. I couldn't think of anything. I'll save the long story for when head isn't throbbing.

But to sum it up, I came to the conclusion that the only way to learn more about him is to clash with him again. So I attempted to lure him out.

Yes, feel free to chew my out about this. I deserve it. Even I'm slapping myself for this stupid decision.

But I lured him out.

And I think I know how to kick his sorry ass.

Conundrum

Well my Slendersludge weapon development project is still on hold. My friend is still rather sore about his mustache getting burnt off.

I had no idea how attached he was to that thing.


But my biggest conundrum (Slendy excluded) is that I am stuck at trying to figure out how I can counter Andras if/when I have run into him again.
This guy is just too fucking fast for me and the taser barely did anything (although I don't remember how high it was turned up).

Everyone has a weakness, surely he has one too.




Right?

Names

Well, if The Grigori isn't going to tell me what the masked man's name is and is going go 'angels and demons' with his name, then I'm going to do the same.

Congrats masked man, your name is Andras.

Bare

Well I went to see “Bare: A Pop Opera” and to my surprise our gent with the bowler was there.

But first, I have to get something off my chest

I fucking hate “Bare”.

I don’t hate the overall production. It’s a fun thing to try to pull together, and there are great casting opportunities, etc. etc.

But I fucking loathe the script and music. I feel like it’s trying to ride off the coats of Rent or something like that in regards to gay popera. Now yes, the struggles of two gay high schoolers trying to keep their lives private or public at a Catholic (it’s always Catholic) boarding school is an interesting concept and brings up some interesting issues. But it feels clichéd, slightly pretentious, and my god there are some stupid decisions made in this play!

Okay now that I let all that out, onto the matter at hand.

Now since there was designated seating this time around, the gent wound up on the other side of the theatre. I went to chat with him once intermission came around.

“Well, looks like you stayed for the show this time. This show doesn’t seem like your type.” I said as I approached him.

He looked up to me and gave a smile that pushed up his bushy mustache. “Yes, well I’ve never seen this show before and I’m open to new things. It’s not bad. There’s certainly plenty of festering chaos to satisfy me. I don’t care much for the music though.”

“You and me both.” I couldn’t resist cracking a smile at that remark.

“So Christopher-“

“Chris.” I cut him off “Chris, Mr. Schultz. Schultzy. Anything but Christopher.” I don’t necessarily hate my name, but there’s something that bugs me with 3+ syllable names.

He let out a light laugh. “Well Mr. Schultz, what can I do for you”

“I have questions.”

“Well my boy. I shall give you answers provided it’s information that I’m allowed to divulge. So I read your posts. Interesting encounter you had there.”

“Yeah about that, who the hell was that? The masked mad and the runner.”

“Ah, well I’m not permitted to give you his name just yet. As for the runner, he was some poor soul who was looking for at least one night of refuge and hoped you could give it. We were kind of hoping that he would get to your place and give a nice little opening past some of the more meddlesome traps you’ve fortified yourself with. Unfortunately, we did not expect you to show up when you did nor did we expect our masked man to get impatient. It was a debacle on our part.” He pushed up his glasses, for some reason he seemed ashamed that that night was such fuck-up.

I should have asked if the masked man was sent specifically for me.

“Alright then. So who hacked into my blog? Was it you? ” The fact that I felt like I was (at the least) partly responsible for this Runner getting killed was weighing pretty heavy on me. It still is.

He laughed “No, no, my boy. I’m an old man. I am technologically inept. Sure I check up on blogs and the like, but that’s the extent of my capabilities. The one who hacked our blog was just one of our comrades.” He stroked his ‘stache “I must say, he was quiet flustered when he returned. He was not expecting your traps at all.”

“Well, I’m glad to know that I’ve left a good impression.” A new question had popped in my mind. “So if keep abreast of the blogs, have you been reading The Mystic?”

“Mr. Strahm? Why yes I’ve been keeping my eye rather closely on him.”

“Then you’ve read his recent post.”

“Yes that gal Mary is quite the chatterbox.”

“So how accurate is she?”

“For the most part, everything said is accurate.”

“For the most part?”

“I cannot go any further into it than that.

“Well….were you involved in that weird cult.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I would never associate myself with that lot. There’s-“ The lights began to dim as intermission was ending. He smiled “Well Mr. Schultz, it looks like the show’s about to resume. I’d suggest you take your seat.”

He was forced to go back to my seat and endure the rest of the show. However I did manage to ask one last thing: “What should call you?”

“Good question. Hmm…I can’t give you my real name so…Call me The Grigori.”

Once the show was over I went to continue my conversation with The Grigori but he was long gone.

Going to the theatre again tonight.

I wonder if the gent with the bowler is going to be there. He didn't seem like the musical type.

May or May Not

I may or may not have gone to a Halloween Party last night.

I may or may not have gone as the greastest director/writer/actor/producer (note the sarcasm) Tommy Wiseau.

I may or may not have had an awesome time for most of it.

I may of may not have said "Oh hai Mark" and "You are tearing me apart Lisa!" one too many times.

I may or may not have gotten slightly drunk.

Someone may or may not have watched Marble Hornets and decided to come as Slender Man.

That someone may or may not have had a somewhat convincing costume.

I may or may not have seen that someone come in.

That someone may or may not have come up behind me without warning.

I may or may not have flipped out when I saw what I though was Slender Man standing behind me.

I may or may not have slugged Slender Man.

I may or may not have slugged Slender Man so hard I knocked him unconscious and caused him to fall into a table full of drink.

It may or may not have been strangly satisfying.

I may or may not have kicked out of the party.